responsibilidad pa ba diay na nako ang mag-ask for information na kailangan nimo?? ha?? problemahun pa nako na??

daghan na kaayo ko ginaproblema sa balay, sa akong studies, sa duty, sa akong life.. unya ikaw gusto ka, pati responsibilidad nimo, ako pa imong pahimuon??!! naunsa naman na?? hayahay na kaayo ka???? basig gusto nimo ako pa mag toothbrush sa imohang ngipon para sa imoha?? kay nusnuson jud nako ug maayo ang imohang gums para mudugo hantud sa capillaries nalang ang mabilin!!

arrrghh!!

gamay lang kaayo na butang himuong big deal!! naonsa ba ka oy!! basta bahala ka dira!! as much as i want to CHANGE your perception, it will NEVER change because of your stupid PRIDE na dili jud munaog maski isa sa sentimetro.. ambot nimo oi..


basta dili na nako ka problemahun.. responsibilidad na na nimo.. dili bitaw ako imong mama..

i received a text message from a friend a long time ago already. the message said "do not live for the expectations of other people. Live for yourself, for your dreams."

it's just something I realized as I was browsing through my Inbox and I was searching for old and useless messages to be deleted. I realized that I am now changed.. I am now a different person.


for 3 years I have been blinded by my fear of being left alone and with no one to go with. Many people will find it pathetic to eat alone or to stroll all alone in the Mall or in school. I did not see it that way before I entered College. All the time I was a kid I could handle being alone. I could eat along in the canteen. I could window shop in the mall all by myself. It was when I entered a very different world that I saw how different others' perspectives are. "culture shock" as others would put it.


I was really scared of going into College. It was because I wasn't used to having many people around me or being in a new school with many students in it. In my four years in high school, we were just a small community, who were together for four years. we knew each other for that long. i wasn't ready for this kind of change. Maybe my shock turned into something else. it turned into fear.


for 3 years I was afraid of being left behind by my friends or classmates. For 2 years I had the fear of being "shuffled" away to another section or group. and because of these fears I searched for ways to cope and to stay. I did what any other normal paranoid person in my situation would do. I lived for their expectations. I lived THEIR lives, not MINE. Yes, I was happy in school because I knew I was a part of them and I knew who I was, but whenever I went home and thought to myself, I begin to feel that I am not controlling my own life. It seemed like someone has attached strings to me so they can control me. Even my emotions were controlled. I cried uncontrollably. I frequently brushed away the thought of suicide. I became stressed. I did not enjoy my life anymore.


That was when one event shook me and a number of voices told me about what they thought about what was happening to me. I was slapped then by the realization, "yeah, where are YOU?" right after that event I resorted to reflecting.



after that break, I was determined to be a changed person. and indeed, I was. although at first, I failed a few times, I kept on thinking "live YOUR OWN life". Until I reached this point. those voices who shook me months ago also noticed the change in me, and they told me these.


Right now, I am enjoying MY OWN life. No one is telling me not to do this and do that. Of course I choose the actions and activities that I make. I was raised well by my parents. I am not affected by anything any one says. as a quote says "what others say about you is none of your business." I now smile often. I know who I am. I can define who I am. I have a plan for my future, and it's not affected by any other's opinion. I know what to do when I am all alone. I know how to meet people. I now smile often. I look at the brighter side of things more often. I appreciate more things around me. and most importantly, I treasure my friends and family more.


even though my friends and family have somehow made me into the nutcrack that I was 3 years ago, somehow, they were the ones who changed me into someone stronger and more independent.


these are just a few things that I have realized over the past few days and I hope that other people will be inspired by them:


1. it is hard to forgive someone who has wronged you, but it is easier to forgive the one who wronged you when you too, have done something wrong to that person.

2. your plans in life should come from the heart.

3. almost everything in my life happened the other way I expected them to happen. For example, when I am expecting one event in my life to be a failure, it usually turns out to be a success. Therefore, I think it's always better not to expect grandly of everything, so that you won't be disappointed.

4. in everything that you do according to your plan for YOUR OWN life, sacrifices must be given, such as time and relationships. I have found it best to offer these sacrifices to God so that He will take care of them for you and you won't have anything to worry about because you know that whatever God does, it's always for your best.

5. how to bounce. when a great force attacks you from the front, stretch out your hands and bounce away from the situation. I did it countless times already, and the bouncing injured me. I thought it best to just laugh at the force. because (go to number 6)

6. Laughter really is cheap medicine. It can cure all kinds of hurt or pain.Laugh often and smile often.

7. Revenge is something an insecure person would do. and because that person cannot use force, that person will most probably use words and play the game of Pride and Prejudice. here's a tip: DON'T JOIN THEM. They would probably lose, anyway.

8. Being with people who can accept you and compliment you about your OUTSIDE and INSIDE is the happiest. and (go to number 9)

9. Experiencing happiness always adds life and memories to your years.

10. Lastly, offer to God everything. Every triumph, every hurt, everything that made you smile, everything. Your worries, your doubts, your fears. No one else can handle all of them but Him. Remember, when no one else is left, He would still be there.





chos.. all I can see now is my future.. with constant positive thinking and hard work, I know that I would be able to reach my dream. Ü

there are many books about humans.. all about what they are.. their body, mind, emotions, behavior, and etc..



all these authors strived hard to make us understand people..














yet, they were not successful..











indeed, no one can fully understand how the mind works..










labi na ang sa aq..





hahaha.. Ü

things that I truly despise in the world:

1. disrespect
2. prejudice
3. envy
4. selfishness




and in number 2 comes prejudicE!! leche na!!


kaila mog taO na grabe kaau makajudge ug tao? wala pa gani niya nailhan ginajudge na dayun niya? grabe kaayo.. to the point na tanan friends nimo kay ginadescribe na niya like she has all the rights in the world!! let me give the concrete situation:



LEVEL 1 judgmental

watch mi ug ASAP, nagasayaw na ang IT girls, wherein part sila Bea Alonzo, Maja, Shaina, Iya, Anne, etc.. si Shaina una nisayaw with lipsynch..

ang wakwak: gwapaha jud ni Shaina, noh?

then si Maja na nisayaw

wakwak: hawd jud musayaw si Maja ba.. dili pareha ni Shaina na mura mag naglisud..

then si Anne na

wakwak: ay saba dira Anne uy! OA!

then si Bea

wakwak: yucks! Bea uy! hawa dira uy! kaluod! yuck uy kababoy ni Bea ay!

then si Iya na

wakwak: maypa na si Iya.. gwapa.. ganahan kaau ko sa iyahang legs ba.. maganda tingnan.. dili pareha ni Bea ba.. baboy..





oh.. level 1 pa lang yan.. imaginine niyo nalang na yan ang naririnig nyo na side comments habang nanonood kayo ng paborito niyong show na ASAP.. diba annoying? leche, pwede hilom lang ka? dili na lagi na sila perfect tanan! mura mag perfect kaau ka na grabe kaau ka maka lait sa ilaha..










LEVEL 10 JUDGMENTAL


i was looking at the profile sa isang kasama ko sa DG na 4th year.. then familiar siguro sa kanya ang face, nagtanong siya..

wakwak: sino yan kit?

ako: si *toooooot*

wakwak: sino gani yan siya?

ako: kasama ko yan sa DG..(and I was laughing because of the comment na binigay ni DG person sa akin)

wakwak: ay yan siya.. di man ko ganahan ana sa iyaha..

ako: bakit man?

wakwak: basta iba man yan sila.. pinakilala yan siya sa akin ni *toooot* dati tapos ngayon parang wala lang..

ako: ...

wakwak: di ko sila feel

ako: ganyan ka man jud.. ayaw mo man sa lahat..

wakwak: hindi uy.. hindi ko lang talaga sila feel..

ako: (in thought) hindi mo lang alam, ayaw lang nila sa mukha mo kaya ayaw rin nilang mamansin sayo.. linte ka.. ayaw na anaa akong mga ate ha.. mas buotan pa sila nimo..






LEVEL 15 JUDGMENTAL

mao na jud ni ang pinakgrabe na jud.. musupak na jud ko ani kung mausab pa ni..



talking in the sala.. wala lang gud.. chika2 lang.. then the topic of my friends came up.. i can't recall the exact conversation na basta ito yung mga judgmental comments na kanyang mga binitawan:


di jud ko ganahan na naa sila diri sa balay.. samukan ko..


mga plastik man cla uy..


sus yang mga ganyan lagi friends with benefits lagi yan..wag mo na sila tulungan.. ikaw lang din ang kawawa after..



mao ra man ni akong maremember uy..


at hindi lang ito nangyayari sa loob ng bahay.. everytime na naa mi sa gawas unya naa siyay makit-an na mali, mucomment dayun na xa.. dili man BAD magcomment ba.. dili jud ko against ana.. basta okay lang pud ang comment uy.. kanang observation lang gani.. dili kanang ginajudge na ang tibuok person dayun na wla pa gani niya nailhan ang tao.. ginabase na dayun niya sa iyahang own na opinions unya idescribe2 na niya ang tao na murag tanan rights naa sa iyaha..


and for sure!! kung ingnan nako siya na ing ani siya she would get defensive and all!! idefend jud na niya iyahang self! dili na siya magpalupig.. unya kung feeling niya na mali jud siya maglagot na siya unya manakit.. mao na na iyang defense mech.. kapila naman niya nahila akong buhok sa kalagot? kapila na ko niya nahapak? kapila na ko niya nasagpa? nasipa? buwisit.. gikapoy na ko.. di na ko niya mahilabtan ever.. bahala maghilak2 ko sa kalagot.. basta i will stand up for myself na..


dili unta ni niya mabasa uy.. NOT!!! MABASA UNTA NI NIYA PARA MAKABALO SIYA KUNG UNSA SIYA KA WAKWAK!!




basta.. makalagot.. ijudge pa niya kaisa ang akong mga friends ug ang akong mga kaila kay diba.. ijudge pud nako siya.. hahaha.. forgive me Lord.. easter sunday pa naman..

this must have been the busiest summer of my life lately... ito lang ang summer na naranasan kong umiyak at maging masaya nang sabay-sabay. marami akong natutunan. marami rin akong naranasan. hay naku.. summer talaga, so memorable.. eto yung mga nakaka-something na nangyari sakin da whole summer:

1. MICROBIO SUBJECT - so very HAGO!!! nalang... mas grabe pa siya sa anatomy.. ambut nalang.. kinsa may naka imbento ani na subject uy..

2. naslide ko dapit sa may chapel... and my friends saw it.. da.. kiat man gud kaayo.. kabalo na gani na kusog ang ulan unya slide, dagan gihapun..

3. i got a very horrible score in a microbio quiz.. too horrible to imagine. as in.. i'll never forget that quiz..

4. my pet dog jam became very sick.. naa siyay bato sa iyang urinary bladder.. so wala siya nakaihi for three days. malapit nang pumutok ang pantog niya kaya yun, catheter and many, many meds..

5. i was bitten by Jam in my right upper extremity sa may wrist banda.. bakit?? ikaw ba, kung 3 days ka walang ihi eh di xempre iritable ka at ayaw mong magpahawak. yun ang nangyari.. kakargahin ko na sana eh para dalhin sa doctor, kinagat ako. dumugo, xempre...

6. i was injected with Tetanus toxoid.. sa left arm.. so both arms are luya yesterday.. pero ngayon, medyo okay na..

7. nakapunta na rin ako ng Paradise Island!! sa wakas.. hallerst.. sorry nalang sa mga maka "haller" sa akin.. ngayon pa lang kasi talaga ako nakapunta dun.. maganda.. yun lang.. di rin naman kasi ako naligo eh dahil sa dogbite.. you know, baka may pumasok na helminth sa aking body.

8. Kerokeroppi (tama ba spelling? as if icare..) sana magbago ka na.. ang dami na naming naexperience sa babaeng ito.. pano ba kasi, grabe kung makatingin, akala mo kung sino.. sayang.. friend pa naman kita dati.. pero since dati ganun ka naman talaga.. so, siguro mahihirapan kang magbago.. pero don't worry, God will make a way.

yun lang.. ang iba kasi hindi na maxadong fresh sa brain ko.. whatever.. ang tagal ko ring hindi narefresh ang aking blog.. bwahahaha.. so ito lang for now..

i want to watch Shrek 3 na!!