i guess i'm going nearer and nearer to being invisible... wait, a more depressing term... forgotten. i guess i'm a very evil person... a person who is forget-the-past-focus-on-the-present-and-look-to-the-future kind of person.

Depression is a powerful weapon in art. well, it's true. i have experienced it myself.

you may say now that, naunsa naman ni si kathleen uy.. nagdrama-drama na sad.. oo nga, nagdadrama ako..baket? wala ba akong right???

therefore i conclude, i am a very big liar, i am disloyal, i am a very suplada person... and i don't deserve the treatment my friends are giving me.. i don't deserve any of them.. i don't deserve the kind patience my family has been giving me.. i don't deserve to be called a Catholic.. i don't even deserve to be with anybody..

all i can think of is that i deserve to be alone.. i should be alone.. everyone hates me.. they're just not saying it out loud..

i know what you're thinking right now.. if you're my friend, you would say "hindi man kat... we don't hate you" if you're a person who's thinking about talking to me and PRETENDING to make me feel better, you're probably saying "kat, it's okay.. i know how you feel.. i was depressed once, too.." for you, i would say "shut up.. you don't know how i feel.. you're not me.."

no one knows how i feel.. only God saw me cry that night.. only God knows how i feel.. only God was there to hug me..

well, what can i say.. i guess i hate myself..